It’s a Jovi-thing: tell Bon Jovi bashers to ‘Have A Nice Day’

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I try to stay away from making extreme statements that offer absolutes. 

You know the ones:  ‘Bon Jovi is the greatest band ever in the history of rock music”; or, Multiple orgasms are the ONLY kind to have’.

That said, I know Bon Jovi fans because I’m one of them. 

We eat, sleep, and breathe the band. 

We scrape and scratch for every unaccounted for penny and dime to get the best concert tickets we can get our greedy hands on. 

We get our unmentionable munchables tattooed with all manner of smirk and heart and dagger and if the needle hurts too bad we settle for a band member’s name on our butt-crack.

We’re fiercely loyal to a fault; will do anything for a fellow fan unless and until they screw us over; and we will lay down our hearts and friendships if anyone in our lives criticizes any member of the band—in whole or in part—for any reason real or imagined.

Knowing all that it’s pretty safe to say that if you’ve scratched and saved all your life to be able to afford airfare and tickets for a Runaway Tours Meet N Greet concert extravaganza, you’re walking on the clouds, swinging from the stars and carrying moonbeams home in a jar.

You proudly post your concert memories, especially the one of you looking like you want to side inside Jon Bon Jovi’s open shirt and tweak his nipple just to see if he’s real, or if anything can make that impossibly bright million megawatt smile fade.

2012 iHeartRadio Music Festival - Day 1 - ShowThen you come home. 

You’re feeling a bit of a comedown because you just experienced a life-long memory and now its back to the grind.  Back to home, family, responsibilities, and a little thing called work.

So to lessen your emotional crash you post a photo of you and Jon Bon on your computer as your screen saver and settle in, ready to do battle with the nine-to-five or graveyard shift knowing if the going gets rough, all you have to do is steal a furtive glance at your PC.

Just when you start feeling like yourself again, in walks your boss.

Certainly it could be that he is coming up to you to tell you you were missed; to ask you how your trip was, or to just offer you a pumpkin crème donut. 

You know he’s there because you can feel his ogre-like hot breath on your shoulder.

After a brief cordial greeting, he steps to the side of your desk, looking at your screensaver and then back at you. Jon Bon Jovi

In your heart of hearts you hope he asks you about your trip; but suddenly, he is looking at you like you are from a distant planet; as though you were discovered in the alien fields of Roswell, New Mexico and brought in as a specimen of other-worldly aliens.

“You look awfully tired”, he observes.  “Are you feeling okay?  You have really big bags under your eyes”.

Gamely you smile and tell him, “No problem!  I’m better than ever”.

Not understanding it’s a ‘Jovi thing’, he leans closer to your computer desktop, peering over his trifocals like a chimp trying to comprehend how to use an iPad. 

He looks at you and Bon Jovi.  Then back at you, then back at Jon Bon. A look of disgust creeps over his face and his lips pull back off his teeth like he just smelled a broccoli and jalapeno fart.

“Are you sure you can work today?  You know you look like you might just need to go home and get some sleep”, he says, stuffing the donut he was holding into his greedy face without offering it to you.

At that very moment, the anger, frustration and disappointment that you feel creeps up from your heart to your throat and you just want to grab him by the lapels and scream, “It’s a Jovi thing and you just don’t get it you dipshit!”

Its enough to make you hyperventilate, wanting to cry your eyes out, wring your hands in disgust and disbelief.  But never fear.  The gifts Bon Jovi give us are many and their influences in our lives are wonderful to behold.

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Don’t get angry.

Don’t get upset

Just look at your boss—or anyone else—who doesn’t understand it’s a Jovi Thing, and tell them to Have A Nice Day.

 

Be sure to find and follow Glenn Osrin on twitter @wizardofosrin

Glenn Osrin can also be found on Facebook.

 

4 Responses to “It’s a Jovi-thing: tell Bon Jovi bashers to ‘Have A Nice Day’”

  1. An experience that will always will be worth every penny.
    My bosses were actually as excited as I was, I took my photo with Jon on a Thursday got the picture online Sunday & emailed it to EVERYONE. Back to work Tuesday & spent the morning talking bout it… how, what, when, where, what’s he like, etc… Months later it’s still on my work computer & comes up in conversations regularly.
    Loved reading this btw xx

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